A Gorilla Story
A small Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species
Within a few weeks, the gorilla, which was a female, became
very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park
veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in
heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla
Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought
of Eddie Standen, a redneck part-time intern, who was
responsible for cleaning the animal's cages. Eddie, like
most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability
to satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator
thought they might have a solution. Eddie was approached
with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the
gorilla for $500.00?
Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think
the matter over carefully. The following day, Eddie
announced that he would accept their offer, but only under
the following four conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the
lips." The park administrator quickly agreed to this
"Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about
this." The park administrator again readily agreed to this
"Third," Eddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised
Southern Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed.
And last of all Eddie stated "You've got to give me another
week to come up with the $500.00."
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