Golfing Attorneys include a Woman

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city.  It wasn't quite the same without him.  A new woman lawyer joined their law firm.  One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table.  Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good.  Would you mind if I joined you next week?"   The three lawyers looked at each other.  They were hesitant.  Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot.  Finally one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am.  He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately.
The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late.  They rolled their eyes but said this would be okay. She smiled and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45."
She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round.  She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed!  Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week.  She smiled and said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."
The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning.  Only this time, she played left-handed.  The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand.  By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out.  She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be showing him up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!
In the third week they all had their game faces on.  But this week she was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part.  Finally she showed up. This week the lady lawyer played right-handed which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them.  However she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to keep a grudge against her.  
This woman was a riddle no one could figure out! Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability.  They had a couple beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up. Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right- handed or left-handed?"
The lady blushed and grinned.  She said, "That's easy.  When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous.  I have always had fun switching back and forth.  Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit.   Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.  All the girls on the team thought this were hysterical."
Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back,  "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"
She said, "Then I'm fifteen minutes late."


I have known Dennis for more than 15 years and there is no one else in the golf business that knows what is going on in golf better than Dennis.

If you need help in selling a golf course or buying a course, Dennis can put you with the right contacts.

If you are having trouble making your golf course profitable, just call Dennis and he will put you with right marketing contacts that will help you get yourself turned around.

If you need to use your buying power better in buying merchandise, equipment, or remodeling your club, Dennis is the man to call.

If you are looking for key people to manage your property, Dennis always has an excellent list of experienced people who he can recommend to you for the job.

In fact, if you are looking to sell, buy, manage, market, stock, finance, re-stock or re-staff, there is no one better to call than Dennis.  

Bobby West
Vice President of Operations
US Land Investments